He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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