Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
