I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
