I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
