Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
