true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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