I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
