By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
