Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
well you can't waste a boner
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
