Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize