I hate your face
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
