Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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