I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
