I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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