I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
