I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
