Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
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The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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