I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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