I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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