Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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