Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
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I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.