fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no