There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
