how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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