I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
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Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
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Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house