Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
