Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
