she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize