Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
