their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She bit a glass in half.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
