I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
