So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
