i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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