Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
