I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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