I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
