Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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