Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
