if i can run in heels then i can drive
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize