I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
