I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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