Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
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She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me