After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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