you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.