Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time

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  (650): Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time http://tfl.nu/rwso
  Replies (3) Good night (1434) Bad night (515)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.

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  (708): so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone. http://tfl.nu/y8ai
  Replies (16) Good night (4614) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  college has opened so many doors for you

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  (281): Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him (1-281): college has opened so many doors for you http://tfl.nu/e6am
  Replies (44) Good night (4552) Bad night (906)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches

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  (856): Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches http://tfl.nu/oe4j
  Replies (29) Good night (4843) Bad night (845)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So gin and wine won't be happening again

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  (603): So gin and wine won't be happening again http://tfl.nu/oyej
  Replies (16) Good night (964) Bad night (3479)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".

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  (480): Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis". http://tfl.nu/fly1
  Replies (39) Good night (7975) Bad night (1125)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.

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  (703): I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going. http://tfl.nu/roti
  Replies (45) Good night (1986) Bad night (4973)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.

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  (313): Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck. http://tfl.nu/ib4p
  Replies (4) Good night (2177) Bad night (1542)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.

  (1-251): View more from Alabama

  Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.

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  (251): He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested. (1-251): Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling. http://tfl.nu/pby0
  Replies (9) Good night (3223) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...

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  (225): What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be... http://tfl.nu/qs8w
  Replies (8) Good night (1200) Bad night (2103)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.

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  (702): See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first. http://tfl.nu/1rv0
  Replies (9) Good night (1701) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis

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  (402): Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis http://tfl.nu/hhal
  Replies (12) Good night (741) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?

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  (301): When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off? http://tfl.nu/hj8l
  Replies (4) Good night (989) Bad night (591)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday

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  (704): Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday http://tfl.nu/7l8d
  Replies (4) Good night (420) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.

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  (619): I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday. http://tfl.nu/3yb4
  Replies (3) Good night (308) Bad night (188)

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