I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
do nipples grow back?
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