Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(865): View more from Tennessee

i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.

(865): View more from Tennessee

the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"

(865): View more from Tennessee

this medicine is soooo good.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(865): i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone. (865): the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now" (865): this medicine is soooo good. http://tfl.nu/gt3j

Replies (3) Good night (1584) Bad night (483)
Favorite
(760): View more from California

There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(760): There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours. http://tfl.nu/m1ds

Replies (34) Good night (3753) Bad night (497)
Favorite
(760): View more from California

oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(760): oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year http://tfl.nu/nw70

Replies (11) Good night (4418) Bad night (590)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson http://tfl.nu/24on

Replies (72) Good night (1235) Bad night (3701)
Favorite
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(321): I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad? http://tfl.nu/p7vn

Replies (39) Good night (763) Bad night (4585)
Favorite
(970): View more from Colorado

I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.

(1-970): View more from Colorado

People still let you watch their kids?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(970): I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer. (1-970): People still let you watch their kids? http://tfl.nu/8t1p

Replies (18) Good night (6094) Bad night (832)
Favorite
(518): View more from New York

Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(518): Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play http://tfl.nu/j01d

Replies (10) Good night (1619) Bad night (664)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions. http://tfl.nu/xynj

Replies (1) Good night (1843) Bad night (490)
Favorite
(251): View more from Alabama

I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(251): I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them. http://tfl.nu/46q5

Replies (10) Good night (782) Bad night (724)
Favorite
(269): View more from Michigan

Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(269): Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair. http://tfl.nu/xxq4

Replies (0) Good night (627) Bad night (286)
Favorite
(473): View more from Grenada-Carib

She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(473): She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?! http://tfl.nu/amuq

Replies (5) Good night (531) Bad night (381)
Favorite
(662): View more from Mississippi

The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance

(1-662): View more from Mississippi

Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(662): The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance (1-662): Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest http://tfl.nu/10xm

Replies (2) Good night (1169) Bad night (279)
Favorite
(740): View more from Ohio

Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(740): Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets. http://tfl.nu/bpg6

Replies (0) Good night (258) Bad night (399)
Favorite
(408): View more from California

I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(408): I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment. http://tfl.nu/3pv3

Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (303)
Favorite
(218): View more from Minnesota

Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(218): Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them! http://tfl.nu/cqdf

Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (350)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: