Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour. http://tfl.nu/s8k7
  Replies (13) Good night (655) Bad night (2506)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it http://tfl.nu/b75j
  Replies (32) Good night (770) Bad night (7065)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment http://tfl.nu/rjpv
  Replies (13) Good night (5229) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine. http://tfl.nu/ew02
  Replies (8) Good night (3255) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Beer Popsicles are better in theory

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Beer Popsicles are better in theory http://tfl.nu/iyrx
  Replies (9) Good night (2043) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator. http://tfl.nu/ijx1
  Replies (21) Good night (2182) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila. http://tfl.nu/arvl
  Replies (5) Good night (2556) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital http://tfl.nu/1aye
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (1464)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain. http://tfl.nu/appx
  Replies (8) Good night (579) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/181u
  Replies (17) Good night (1582) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20 http://tfl.nu/udx8
  Replies (8) Good night (1266) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept... http://tfl.nu/rhyx
  Replies (4) Good night (477) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/kvnn
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (225)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised. http://tfl.nu/dvsv
  Replies (0) Good night (403) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. http://tfl.nu/awxp
  Replies (1) Good night (299) Bad night (628)

Randomize