Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting

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(902): yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting http://tfl.nu/sy3h

Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (3406)
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(949): View more from California

so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"

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(949): so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later" http://tfl.nu/dpva

Replies (17) Good night (6940) Bad night (850)
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(773): View more from Illinois

There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.

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(773): There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet. http://tfl.nu/w01w

Replies (40) Good night (4565) Bad night (646)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.

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(662): We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety. http://tfl.nu/psgs

Replies (14) Good night (4667) Bad night (957)
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(805): View more from California

Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?

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(805): Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...? http://tfl.nu/0j4d

Replies (20) Good night (3471) Bad night (2387)
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(989): View more from Michigan

there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.

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(989): there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked. http://tfl.nu/cvgr

Replies (5) Good night (4374) Bad night (1062)
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(253): View more from Washington

Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand

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(253): Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand http://tfl.nu/sefe

Replies (6) Good night (1466) Bad night (1367)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."

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(615): I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do." http://tfl.nu/0gsj

Replies (8) Good night (3772) Bad night (1117)
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(907): View more from Alaska

It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.

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(907): It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls. http://tfl.nu/6ztr

Replies (2) Good night (466) Bad night (1040)
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(815): View more from Illinois

the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.

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(815): the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa. http://tfl.nu/pziy

Replies (9) Good night (657) Bad night (730)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...

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(781): I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded... http://tfl.nu/sk2i

Replies (3) Good night (383) Bad night (884)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed

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(608): I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed http://tfl.nu/mucx

Replies (0) Good night (422) Bad night (393)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.

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(320): If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot. http://tfl.nu/mrn3

Replies (2) Good night (792) Bad night (549)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?

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(508): I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK? http://tfl.nu/s17s

Replies (2) Good night (636) Bad night (370)
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(916): View more from California

Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about

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(916): Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about http://tfl.nu/nymk

Replies (1) Good night (165) Bad night (200)

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