ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
