just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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