i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
