I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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