ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
