fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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