i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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