You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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