you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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