Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
send nudes
from the living room?
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