I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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