Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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