butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
