it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
