I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
