what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
