if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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