What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
