Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
