i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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