This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
