I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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