He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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