yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i think i just lost a toe
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
