So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize