i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
